Different Slants

Seeing the World from a New Angle

Cop Julie and The Lost Jewish Cemetery…by Robert M. Katzman

Filed under: Cops,Humor,Jewish Themes,Love and Romance,Poetry & Prose,Wisconsin stories — Bob at 10:49 pm on Friday, January 20, 2017

So, new guy in a new town

I joined a poet’s group

Nice woman there figures out

That Passover

is possibly my holiday

Clever woman

 

Then she leans over to me

And whispers:

 

“There’s this tiny Jewish cemetery

In a little town near here

And their steel entrance sign

With its big Jewish star

Collapsed on the ground

In the mud

Makes me feel bad

It’s not right

Maybe you can fix it”

 

I backed up from her whisper

A righteous Christian

If ever there was one

Does she think I somehow

Have…magic powers

Able to lift steel girders

With a wink and a prayer??

(Read on …)

Bribing a Chicago Judge with a Sawbuck…by Robert M. Katzman

Filed under: Cops,Gritty Katzman Chicago Stories,Humor,Jewish Themes,My Own Personal Hell,Politics — Bob at 6:37 am on Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Bribing a Chicago Judge with a Sawbuck

By Robert M. Katzman

Copyright © January 2, 2014

 

In the spring of 1965, in Hyde Park, an area seven miles south of Chicago’s central Downtown area and home of the University of Chicago and jazz, my father, Irving, felt it was time to explain corruption in the Chicago Machine and teach me the basics.

I was fifteen, and if you can imagine the setting, we’re in our small apartment sitting on either side of the scarred kitchen table. I was listening and playing with the salt and pepper shakers at the same time. He may as well have been explaining etiquette customs on Mars to me. I had no clue about what he was going to say.

(Read on …)

Brad Bliss and The Cast Iron Skillet…by Robert M. Katzman

Robert M. Katzman’s Amazing Story: http://www.differentslants.com/?p=355

© Monday, September 28, 2015

Two important facts will help my readers better understand this unlikely but classic example of surreal serendipity:

 

1—I like to cook

2—I have three dogs

 

Please do not despair for my dogs! While my intention has always been those two passions should never intersect, on this one occasion, they did. My story follows.

 

For months, I’ve unsuccessfully combed flea markets, Salvation Army stores and especially, garage sales in Northern Illinois, where I have a store, and in South Eastern Wisconsin, where I live, searching for an elusive black, heavy and a marvelous conductor of even heat for cooks, a cast iron skillet.

(Read on …)

A Chicago Jew in Racine, Wisconsin…by Robert M. Katzman

Filed under: Humor,Jewish Themes,Liberation Fantasies,Life & Death,Philosophy,Retail Purgatory,Wisconsin stories — Bob at 8:30 pm on Sunday, July 12, 2015

Robert M. Katzman’s Amazing Story: www.differentslants.com/?p=355

© July 11, 2015  (but revised three weeks later as we began to blend in)

 

Ain’t nobody like me, up here

Or just barely

I’m a Mediterranean oasis

Wherever I go

A hot-house flower among

All the dour Teutonic people

 

Young girl cashiers

Mostly blonde

See my silver

Star of David

Dangling from my neck

Glinting in the harsh lights of

Small Wisconsin stores

 

“Ooooooh, how pretty!”

Some of them exclaim

When first noticing it

Bright against my olive skin

“What is it?”

Some ask

 

Could be worse

I think to myself

(Read on …)

Poetic Love, Edited (for rejected writers)…by Robert M. Katzman

Filed under: Humor,My Own Personal Hell,Rage!,subtle erotica — Bob at 1:23 pm on Monday, February 24, 2014

Robert M. Katzman’s Amazing Story:  http://www.differentslants.com/?p=355

© December 2009

Don’t make my kisses

A

Comma In your sentences

(Read on …)

And the Computer Asked Me: “Are You Happy Now?”…by Robert M. Katzman

Filed under: Conspiracy Theories,Existential Pets,Humor,Liberation Fantasies,My Own Personal Hell,Rage! — Bob at 10:48 am on Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Robert M. Katzman’s Amazing Story:  http://www.differentslants.com/?p=355

© February 3, 2014

 The phone rang in the dark hours of the morning.

Asleep, I wasn’t fast enough to get to before it stopped.

I fell back in bed, irritated, but too sleepy to deal with random calls before dawn.

Then, a few minutes later, it rang again. I stared at the phone for a moment, then leaped up to capture the beast before it escaped, whomever that it was calling me so stupidly, and twice. I listened to the voice on the phone. It was mechanically human. The call was from the Compulsive Drug Corporation, or the CDC. The voice wanted to know:

(Read on …)

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