Different Slants

Seeing the World from a New Angle

Defining “Blow”: English Usage, Sometimes Flexible, Sometimes Rigid…by Robert M. Katzman

Filed under: Gritty Katzman Chicago Stories,Humor,Poetry & Prose,subtle erotica — Bob at 8:38 am on Saturday, August 27, 2011

 by Robert M. Katzman  © August 27, 2011

 (1) Blow: To form one’s lips into a circle and expel air at varying velocities, in order to possibly remove something unwanted from a surface

(2) Blowing a Kiss: Same as above except also holding one’s hand, palm up, under one’s chin and, after making a gentle kissing sound, (which is exceptionally difficult to define) aiming the imaginary act of affection toward its intended recipient, expedited by air expelled somewhat more urgently while also eliciting a receptive response

(3) Blow Up!: Besides destroying one another’s advanced civilizations with incendiary bombs and rockets dropped from airplanes, also means  a sudden argument gone out of control with supervisor, fellow workers, one’s spouse, customer, or, on particularly bad days, all of them

(4) A Harsh Blow: To strike another’s body or intellectual concepts without mercy.  Can also mean to undercut one’s self esteem and likely to stifle one’s advancement in an organization unless the perpetrator of the act is decapitated in reality and not just in one’s imagination

(5) Blow, as per Presidential candidate Barak Obama: Cocaine, which surprisingly, is an elective at major universities throughout the world

(6) Blow Off: Abruptly dismiss, as if to suggest one’s proposed imaginative idea is not only unwelcome by one’s supervisor or boss or significant other, but all future such efforts will be equally unwelcome

(7) Blow Over: A variation on the biblically encouraging “this too shall pass” meaning that even seemingly disastrous situations will soon, or eventually be forgotten, unless the mistake in judgment is a child conceived in passion with one’s secretary, in which case the mistake will grow larger and larger and larger, year by year.

 (8) Blow!: To aggressively request someone whose presence is unwanted to leave suddenly, a threat being implied

(9) Let’s Blow this Joint: Choosing to leave a retail bar or restaurant by choice, suggesting dissatisfaction with service, quality or amount of food or alcohol, or especially, the lack of a cooperative attitude of other patrons in allowing one to know one or more of them more intimately. Almost universally a male expression of being unlucky and suggesting the illusion that someone, somewhere, possibly on Mars, will eventually find them irresistible

(10) Blown Opportunity: A wonderfully example of the linguistic flexibility of English, and why writing poetry is such a joy in the colonial language.  This phrase means, 99% of the time, that a person failed to take advantage of what was offered to him, be it in business, education, travel or in a romantic or transitory relationship.

I say “him” on purpose because women are smarter and seem to know when to say yes, evaluating risk at lightening speed.  If men were really smart, they’d be able to have babies, too.  But evolution obviously made a critical choice about whom to trust with future generations.

(11) Blow Job: The last in this lengthening list. Though evidently universally understood across the English-speaking world and virtually everywhere else the United States Army has been stationed for more than twenty minutes, is actually a misnomer about a male’s member, generally requiring a stiffening level of resolve on the part of both participants to properly execute what is desired and which, in an amazing reversal of logic, actually means: Suck.

Further, the United States of America, in this case, and possibly Canada, though both being, theoretically at least, lands of Liberty, Fraternity and Equality and unlike France, a severely neurotic European country with its own language police, use the term Blow Job, joyfully and in all cases without any gender classification whatsoever.  But which also would lead the arrogant French to say, illogically, that such a slanderous definition, sucks. Sacre Bleu!

************************************************************

Publishing News! 

Bob Katzman’s two new true Chicago books are now for sale, from him!
Vol. One: A Savage Heart  and Vol. Two: Fighting Words

Gritty, violent, friendship, classic American entrepreneurship love, death, heartbreak and the real dirt about surviving in a completely corrupt major city under the Chicago Machine. More history and about one man’s life than a person may imagine.

Please visit my new website: https://www.dontgoquietlypress.com
If a person doesn’t want to use PayPaI, I also have a PO Box & I ship anywhere in America.

Send me a money order with your return and contact info.
I will get your books to you within ten days.
Here’s complete information on how to buy my books:

Vol 1: A Savage Heart and Vol. 2: Fighting Words
My books weigh almost 2 pounds each, with about 525 pages each and there are a total together of 79 stories and story/poems.

Robert M. Katzman
Don’t Go Quietly Press
PO Box 44287
Racine, Wis. 53404-9998                                                                                                                    (262)752-3333, 8AM–7PM

Books cost $29.95 each, plus shipping

For: (1)$3.95; (2)$5.95; (3)$7.95; (4)$8.95 (5)$9.95;(6) $10.95

(7) $11.95; (8) $12.95; (9)$13.95 (10)$15.95 (15)$19.95

I am also for hire if anyone wants me to read my work and answer questions in the Chicago/Milwaukee area. Schools should call me for quantity discounts for 30 or more books. Also: businesses, bookstores, private organizations or churches and so on.

My Fighting Words Publishing Co. four original books, published between 2004 and 2007 are now out-of-print. I still have some left and will periodically offer them for sale on my new website.

 Twitter handle: bob_katzman

6 Comments »

Comment by Bruce Matteson

August 27, 2011 @ 9:15 am

and Blew?

Comment by Don Larson

August 27, 2011 @ 4:52 pm

#9 Different strokes for different folks.

Don

Comment by Bob

August 28, 2011 @ 2:43 pm

I suppose I could write another piece on the meaning of: To stiff someone
No connection whatsoever, of course, to any of the Blow definitions.

Comment by Ami

August 28, 2011 @ 7:29 pm

I giggled, first in a couple days…. Thanks, Bob. #6 is my favorite, but I must admit #9 is nice too.

Comment by Jim Payne

December 29, 2019 @ 7:57 am

Chuckling Good! What a tremendous imagination you have.

Comment by Brad Dechter

December 30, 2019 @ 6:08 am

As I mentioned on Facebook, your skills putting this together blew me away!
And you saved the best for last…..

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>