Dobie Maxwell–A Noble Unsung Comic…by Robert M. Katzman
Robert M. Katzman’s Amazing Story: http://www.differentslants.com/?p=355
© 3/17/2012 St. Patrick’s Day
Some people are born with a sense of reciprocity, innate and clear, like salmon swimming upstream to spawn.
Other people, well, you could stick a giant glowing neon arrow up their ass in an effort to point them in the right direction, and it would serve no purpose.
Dobie Maxwell is someone who’s been kicked around in anonymity for a good chunk of his life, and yet still maintained his sense of right and wrong and when to speak up when he recognizes an injustice. As a person so much like him, I know how rare it is to find a guy to buck the snarling crowd and say: Stop!
I will tell you who he is to me, and what happened to compel me to write this profile about him. I am not certain, but something tells me that not enough has been written about Dobie, and if so, not like what I’m going to say.
Except I know so little.
Funny, under the present circumstances.
I don’t know Dobie’s actual name.
I don’t know if he’s married or has children.
I don’t know where he lives or even his phone number.
We never went to dinner or a movie.
I don’t know what his car looks like.
But, I surely know Dobie.
He’s a standup comic waiting for a break. Years ago, a total stranger, he called me to sell his Mad Magazine collection at a time when I didn’t want or need them in my back-issue magazine store collection, and I had little cash to give to him, in any event. Â No one had asked me for any issue of Mad for a couple of years. But we talked for a bit, anyway. Dobie has that something that makes talking to him as easy as breathing.
He was a different kind of cat, tho’. He needed the cash, but seemed to get me and my own sorry situation. We connected that way. Then, irrationally, since as I already told him I had no need of what he was selling, I made him an offer that was not a lot, but fair, and then I asked Dobie if I could pay him over five months. An outrageous thing to ask a stranger.
Why would he trust me?
The guy didn’t know me at all.
I hoped maybe, possibly, someone would want to buy the Mads and the sales might cover the debt.
He agreed.
Jesus Christ, Dobie!
We met, shook hands (a contract), I gave him the first check and it was cool.
Almost immediately, a quite serious podiatrist in scrubs came in who was looking to complete his Mad collection, but was on a budget. I guess he was seeking to complete his collection foot by foot.
The Doc bought a LOT of Mads over the next year, and he was happy. Dobie got his money on the dot each month and along the way, we became friends. Other people bought Mads down the line. I made an actual profit. There was a weirdness to it. The Dobie-Bob-Doc connection didn’t exist prior to our handshake.
The Doc was happy, Dobie didn’t get screwed by a stranger and feel like a schmuck, and my store lived another day, for a while anyway. There are not enough Dobies in the world because I expect most of them get stung.
So Dobie has no more Mads to drag around with him, but he has me in his corner and I him. Friendship can be very light to carry with you, most of the time.
He came by my store every so often to say hello, or offered me free tickets to come see him.
One time, he called me in great frustration to tell me that his car window was smashed and some thug had stolen his laptop with twenty years of routines inside of it with no back up disc anywhere. He was in total misery and I did what you do when there is nothing a person can do to fix what’s broken: I listened.
I commiserated.
I offered him an ear from someone who actually cared. It didn’t fix his problem, but perhaps for just a moment he felt a tiny bit less alone and maybe less disgusted with himself and his difficult life. Dobie drives from gig to gig, all over the Midwest, sometimes barely covering the cost of his gas.
And that’s my small story about Dobie Maxwell, never written before.
So,
For about five years, I’ve been writing and posting my stories and poetry on my DifferentSlants.com website, gradually building up a list of about 140 e-mails addresses to notify people about when I posted a new story. With five books in print, and more than 5,000 sold, it was the only way I could advertise myself and hope to get hired to give readings, as I have been more than seventy times. One of the people on my list was Dobie.
In February 2012, the most hits ever happened on my site, over 28,000, and I was very happy to becoming better known.
Then came my story about the killing of innocents in Syria. I was angry and it was spontaneous.
I wrote an emotional and–rare for me–political story entitled:
Israel: Join The Syrian Rebellion, Now. While the World Watches and Does Nothing!
and sent it out to my 140 addresses, all of which were visible to the recipients, as had always been the case over the past five years as my list grew and grew. I didn’t know any other way to do it, with my limited internet skills.
Well, several people seized on the subject matter, which to me was about compassion and not about politics, and then they went after each other, especially two hysterical writers, a Swede and an Israeli. Except they not only wrote angry notes back and forth to each other, but also to everyone else on my list, endlessly.
People were furious, FURIOUS!…with me.
Some liked the message but not the transmission, proving for certain that a person can be damned by their good deeds.
Then came the steady machine gun-like rat-a-tat-tat of:
Drop me from your list! Drop me from your list!!
Drop me from your list! Drop me from your list!!
Drop me from your list! Drop me from your list!!
Drop me from your list! Drop me from your list!!
Drop me from your list! Drop me from your list!!
Drop me from your list! Drop me from your list!!
After five years and so many stories, no one wanted to hear from me any more.
I was so crushed and so defenseless. Damned by my ignorance of internet etiquette. So many doors slamming!
So, I wrote an apology, sending it out to my whole “list”, one last time:
To too many exasperated and antagonized people:
I regret that my last posting was sent incorrectly and which created so much unwanted traffic to so many people.
I’m 61, don’t know enough about the rules and customs of the internet and didn’t know I should be using “BCC” to keep everyone’s e-mail private. It has been a very bad experience for me.
My goal was to try to help, somehow, to find a way to stop the killing of innocent Syrians. I never write about politics.
Instead, my posting created a wave of messages between people with strong positions who argued en masse sending messages to everyone on my list, instead of one-on-one on the site itself in the comments section.
The list of irritated, exasperated people includes my aunt, son, friends and people I work with. I am embarrassed that I caused so much antagonism.
A classic case of being damned by an effort to do a good deed, because of what I didn’t know. Consequently, to avoid this whole situation ever repeating itself, there is no longer a “list” to be asked to be dropped from.
I write from the heart and want to be known as a writer worth reading, but this painful episode will never help me achieve that goal.
If anyone is still sending out messages to dozens of people related to what I wrote: Stop it, damn it!
No one need bother to write to me to ask me to stop. I have, with this last note of regret. If anyone cares to read my many stories and poetry at DifferentSlants.com, fine, great. Go look at it. Doesn’t cost a dime.
I feel terrible right now and wish I could turn back time. Again, sorry.
Bob
Few replied. Some offered consolation, saying it’ll blow over soon and don’t lose sleep over it, etc.
But I was done. No list, and if anyone wanted to read my stuff, it would be by chance and not because I notified them. Welcome, Anonymity. I know you so well. But it seems like even you don’t know me.
Then, a day later, this message came in an e-mail from one of my consolers, from Dobie Maxwell:
I sincerely apologize in advance for invading anyone’s personal space. This is a one time email, and I promise I’ll stop after I get this off my chest.
I just wanted to say to all who have been so adamant about being removed from this list, please don’t blame or be angry with Bob Katzman. He is a very honest, giving and hard working fellow – not to mention one talented and diligent writer. I met Bob at his store years ago, and immediately liked him on many levels. He’s passionate about what he does, and is an unbelievably kind and giving soul. He wants the world to be a better place and actually makes an attempt to DO something about it. I totally respect anyone who has that kind of guts. Not many do.
If he happened to make a mistake and include people’s email addresses, so what? It was an honest mistake, and NO harm was intended. He isn’t a stalker or trying to sell Amway to anyone, and if someone happened to get into a discussion about a topic he brought up, all the better. Can’t we just hit ‘delete’ if we’re not interested in participating? It will pass, and life goes on. Bob didn’t do anything malicious, nor did he or anyone else ask me to write this note. Life is very short and these are not the best of times for anyone. I can see how someone might get a bit bothered by getting an email or two that wasn’t asked for, but is it really that bad of a situation? I’d bet some of our soldiers in Afghanistan would LOVE it if all they had to worry about were a few stray emails. On the world scale, this is less than zero. It’s a bug fart, and a silent one at that. Let it pass, and it will.
Those of you who are angry, all I can say is please don’t blame Bob. In fact, I will personally buy you any of his excellent books, and you can read for yourself how talented and thoughtful of a writer he is. I’m a performer myself, and I know how difficult it is to do anything well. Bob Katzman isn’t trying to hurt anyone. Let’s all just let this pass and work on healing our suffering world. I send positive vibes to all who read this.
And I absolutely promise this will be the last time I send ANYTHING to any of you. Peace and healing to ALL – Jews, gentiles, whites, blacks, males, females and everyone in between. We’re all in this together. Nobody is higher or lower than anybody else. We’re all humans, let’s live well.
Sermon over.
Sincerely,
Dobie Maxwell
Stunned by all he said, I wrote to him, thanking him.
The irony is clear to me, and will soon be to Dobie. I no longer will broadcast my writing, including this piece. Maybe to a couple people, but that’s it. I never want to be the butt of a massive wave of anger again. So here is a public thank you and celebration of Dobie Maxwell, and I’m whispering that it’s posted. Sorry Dobie. As always, and a comic certainly knows this, that timing is everything.
The capitol of the country of Reciprocity is Character. Dobie lives there. I want to think I do, too.
See you around, Dobie.
And, thanks again.
Break a leg, ok?
Publishing News!
Bob Katzman’s two new true Chicago books are now for sale, from him!
Vol. One: A Savage Heart and Vol. Two: Fighting Words
Gritty, violent, friendship, classic American entrepreneurship love, death, heartbreak and the real dirt about surviving in a completely corrupt major city under the Chicago Machine. More history and about one man’s life than a person may imagine.
Please visit my new website: https://www.dontgoquietlypress.com
If a person doesn’t want to use PayPaI, I also have a PO Box & I ship anywhere in America.
Send me a money order with your return and contact info.
I will get your books to you within ten days.
Here’s complete information on how to buy my books:
Vol 1: A Savage Heart and Vol. 2: Fighting Words
My books weigh almost 2 pounds each, with about 525 pages each and there are a total together of 79 stories and story/poems.
Robert M. Katzman
Don’t Go Quietly Press
PO Box 44287
Racine, Wis. 53404-9998 (262)752-3333, 8AM–7PM
Books cost $29.95 each, plus shipping
For: (1)$3.95; (2)$5.95; (3)$7.95; (4)$8.95 (5)$9.95;(6) $10.95
(7) $11.95; (8) $12.95; (9)$13.95 (10)$15.95 (15)$19.95
I am also for hire if anyone wants me to read my work and answer questions in the Chicago/Milwaukee area. Schools should call me for quantity discounts for 30 or more books. Also: businesses, bookstores, private organizations or churches and so on.
My Fighting Words Publishing Co. four original books, published between 2004 and 2007 are now out-of-print. I still have some left and will periodically offer them for sale on my new website.