Different Slants

Posted on August 11, 2011

“So, Miss, I want to make Payment Arrangements”

There will be a late fee, Sir

But I’m already having trouble paying you

Sorry, Sir, but that’s the rules, Sir

I tried to call 611 to get you, but this message wouldn’t let me

Wait a minute, Sir, I’ll check on that

(pause)

Oh, that’s an automatic upgrade!

What for?

Well, you qualify for a new and better phone…

But I don’t want one

I don’t know how to use the one I already have

Oh, but Sir, you’ll be able to connect directly with the internet!

(pause)

Excuse me, Miss–but, what’s your name?

(pause)

Jenny.  Jenny Jett

Like that rock n’ roll singer?

Yeah, that’s how people remember my name

I’ll remember you, Jenny

How old are you?

I’m 29

Jenny, I’m 61

I’m never, never, never gonna connect to the internet on my phone

Oh!

Do you understand?

Yeah, but I have to say that to you

I realize that

Oh, Sir’

Call me Bob

(pause) 

Ok–Bob–there’s just one last thing for me to discuss with you…

Jenny, this is the second “one last thing” so far

Um, ok, but I have to tell you this:

AT&T wants customers to replace all their passwords with numbers

Jenny, my password is the name of my dead puppy

Oh, my!

When I use it, it reminds me of my puppy

Want me to forget about my puppy and start using a number?

No, no, no! I don’t!

I’m sorry, Bob

It’s ok, Jenny

You’re just doing your job, right?

Yeah

Good thing to have a job now

Got that right

Jenny, you like stories?

Why?

I’m a writer, published five books, all true

Really?

Yeah, and if you go to my website, you can read my stories for free!

What kinda stories–Bob?

Stories about resisting people who want to control you

Wow!  I can sure use some stories like that right about now…

Jenny, if you decide to read the stories

You can write me a note and I’ll answer you

That’s nice.

I’ll check out your website when I’m off work

So, Jenny, where are you?

Galesburg.  Galesburg, Illinois

Sounds exciting

It ain’t

I bet

Well nice talking to you, Jenny

You, too, Bob

Thanks for using AT&T

Hey, Jenny, this is better than texting, isn’t it?

Yeah, it is

Bye, Jenny

Bye, Bob

***