Different Slants

 Part 4

We went to our giant local discount food source, Costco Market, and bought sixty chicken breasts, for the adult guests, and some vegetables.  $100.00.

Then we went to a party supply center and bought pink, red and black paper and plastic plates, cups, balloons, napkins and boxes of assorted plastic forks, spoons and knives for our estimated seventy adults and thirty children.  And a bubble gum pink, portable, disposable helium balloon-inflator.  Another $150.00. 

We ordered a cake we estimated was big enough—although only a single layer—from our local bakery.  A red velvet cake with a large full-color horse on it, because Sarah, our Calamity Jane, loves horses.  $110.00. 

Our avant-garde filmmaking son, David, Sarah’s thirty-year old brother, agreed to bring two of his break dancing friends as unconventional entertainment, mostly for Sarah’s friends who won’t expect it.  $100.00. 

There was a sale at Walgreen’s on Coke’s two-liter bottles. Four for $5.00.  We bought twenty for $25.00. 

Sarah’s older sister, Rachel, sixteen years older, took Sarah to buy a special dress with her own money. 

Sarah’s other older sister, never mind, Lisa, whose new baby Natalia makes Sarah Aunt Sarah (and who also makes Joy and I grandparents) had Sarah’s ears pierced and bought her beautiful earrings.   

Joy’s sister Gail’s daughter Erika brought a large fruit bowl for dessert. 

I was the photographer.  I actually am a photographer, but that’s not the point.  I’m not for hire. 

Sarah said she and her friends would bring a bunch of CDs they liked, to play as dance music. 

A nice woman I knew from our temple, Donna Ruelli, who prepares food for people after Shabbat services on Friday nights (called Oneg-Shabbat), and with whom I was friendly, was also a caterer for parties.  She agreed to work with Joy to arrange all the food Joy cooked in a buffet style, so all the guests could serve themselves.  Her cost?  Far less than her normal fee, she told me, and would be $20.00 an hour, for four hours, or $80.00. 

We went to a McDonald’s near the temple and gently negotiated with them to give us a better deal on fifty double-burgers (without cheese, of course) from the kid’s happy meal menu and fifty small bags of fries.  They charged us $100.00 and then threw in five extra double-burgers.  Bet you didn’t think you could do that, did you? 

So far, that made the party’s budget: $665.00.  With taxes, almost exactly, $700.  

Maybe the Vanderbilts and the Rockefellers wouldn’t come, but then, they weren’t invited anyway.  

Two of our friends from the temple, brother and sister Rana and Bruce Matteson, (yes, the carpenter) close enough to us to know what’s what, volunteered to help organize things, set up the tables and clean up afterwards. Both were aware of Joy’s limited energies no matter how determined her objectives. Rana also happened to be one of Sarah’s Hebrew teachers. 

Rana is a popular member of our temple and Bruce, who isn’t a member, hunts deer which to some people is a religion in itself.  Bruce went to fetch the paid for burgers and fries during the religious services prior to the party, so that they would arrive on time and still be hot.  Fortunately, no deer crossed his path during that errand or he might have brought us fresh venison instead.  I’m not sure dead deer are kosher, though. 

The temple generously waived the normal (significant) rental fee for the party room in exchange for Joy agreeing to supply her accounting skills, as needed, to the reduced staff in the temple’s administration office.

I noticed that the party room was carpeted and was told by Eugene, the temple’s engineer and all around guy who keeps the place going, that there was this parquet dance floor stored, in fifty pieces, at a nearby cooperating hardware store.   He said we could use it for free, but we had to go get it ourselves.  Actually, Eugene told this to Joy, and she managed to remember to tell me about it the day before the Bat Mitzvah. 

Also, we had to assemble it ourselves.  Nice. Each piece was four feet by four feet, a steel frame filled with many little wooden squares. They were very heavy to lift.  This was not a nice surprise for me.  There was also a steel perimeter that had to be attached all the way around it. 

The hardware store people loaded up my minivan, twice, and I brought my parquet treasure to the temple, where Eugene and a crew of his helpers, whom I dubbed the Genettes, helped me unload the tonnage onto two wheeled carts, breaking at least one cart in the process. 

The Genettes were: Lance Wheatly, Nathan Alvarado, Travis Booth, Seth Cunningham and the mysterious one-named Lian.   

This was far less fun than it sounds, and I spent the morning, shirtless, swearing and pouring sweat, shuttling squares back and forth with the genial Genettes.  I don’t remember specifically taking the Lord’s name in vain, especially so close to His office, but there are many ways to creatively express one’s unhappiness. 

Joy and I assembled all those big squares by ourselves, with Joy in charge of attaching all the edging. 

So, let’s see: Joy has MS and is disabled.  I’ve had thirty operations and both of us are closing in on sixty. 

Fortunately, neither of us died assembling that cursed dance floor, which would have kind of dampened the party’s festive atmosphere.  People later came up to us and said how nice the floor looked.  The day before, piles of tiles were falling out of the old squares and I pounded them back into place with my hammer. 

I smiled at the people who talked about the floor and said to them, sweetly, 

“You know, Joy and I made it ourselves…yesterday.”  

Like it was a cake.  A twenty-eight foot by forty-eight foot cake.  Those people laughed and thought I was funny.  I was not so amused, but I smiled anyway. 

But this is not the end of this unorthodox story of heartache, friendship and determination. 

It gets better. 

And then worse. 

And finally, mysterious.

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Part 5 (of 8 parts total) will be posted (much longer) in two weeks, on Tuesday December 1, 2009

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 Note from the Author:

 Robert M. Katzman, owner of Fighting Words Publishing Company, with  four different titles currently in print and over 5,000 books sold to date, is seeking more retail outlets for his vivid and non-fiction inspirational books:

 Independent bookstores, Jewish and other religious organizations, Chicago historical societies or groups, English teachers who want a  new voice in their class who was a witness to history, book clubs,  high schools or museum gift shops. I will support anyone who supports  me by giving readings in the Chicago Metro area. I have done this
over 50 times.

Individuals who wish to order my books can view the four book covers  and see reviews of them at www.FightingWordsPubco.com

 More poetry and many (always non-fiction) stories can be found at  www.DifferentSlants.com

 There are links to YouTube and podcasts, as well. Or, anyone can  call me directly at (847) 274-1474. Googling my name will also  produce all kinds of unusual results.

 Next year, I will publish my fifth book:  A Child’s Story of The Holocaust and sixth book, a collection of my best poetry and essays:  I Seek the Praise of Ordinary Men Individuals who know of independent bookstores that might be  interested in a rough-hewn guy like me, who ran a chain of newsstands  for 20 years in Chicago, please tell them about my books, will you? I  am partial to independent bookstores, having owned two, myself,  until my last one was killed by the giant chains, in 1994. I still
miss it.

I’m also looking to find someone who would want to make a play out of  some of my stories in the Chicago area. I think there’s enough honest sex, drugs and rock n’ roll to hold anyone’s interest, as well as a lot of authentic
 dialogue from ordinary people in extraordinary situations. I think the plays would work anywhere, frankly, in some intimate theater with talented actors.