Available Heart…by Robert M. Katzman
© October 30, 2013
Not born
Spit from the earth
More like something unwanted
Which he was
And he knew it
Not raised, forged
Beaten and terrorized
He grew an exterior of slate
Insolent and imperfect
When something went wrong with his body
The rude husk of this impatient man
When offered a choice of surgery or waiting
He’d say:
“Just cut it, fix it and be done with it”
Pain expected and pain delivered
What else was there?
He didn’t learn or play sports
He learned about tools
How to make things
Shelves to hold the tools
Doors that locked and kept people out
He knew that certain tools, a hammer
Could be more than something to pound nails
It could be a weapon of last resort
And one time, it became just that
The only barrier between him and death
If he made a friend, it was never casual
Friends, to him, were allies in a hostile world
To call and be called upon when needed
Relationships never withered
They were kept, burnished and treasured
Sex was no real break from this jagged life
This insulated life
Of light and dark and nothing in between
Sex was everywhere and inconsequential
Momentary disconnection from everything bad
Then snapping back to reality
Like a steel coil
No castle is impenetrable
No defense insurmountable
Any wall has its flaw
To the perceptive invader
Like water through a crack
There’s always a way in
Especially
To the one who senses
There’s a treasure in that castle
But maybe not silver and gold
More than diamonds and rubies
Came the unexpected woman
Bearing softness and warmth
Gifts for his senses
Beguiling him to open the gates
Let her in
She’d be safe
Safe for him to trust
Some people see what can’t be seen
Feel what can’t be felt
Know what no one’s told them
Some people are exceptional
Some people know what they want
Some people are determined and unstoppable
He let down his guard
Warily welcomed her
Accepted her gifts
Relaxed his suspicions
And when he was most vulnerable
She did what he never expected
She captured his available heart
Her victory was theirs to share