Many people seem to aspire to be more than they are, when who they are is quite enough. If you (or they) had different personalities, then everything else would change in relation to your being different: Your friends, your husband, your kids. From what I saw at your party on Sunday, people like you plenty enough just as you are, including me.

Hilary is an interesting writer, with a quirky blog, and is an English Jewish person who came to America 16 months ago. I think the English are trying to get the Colonies back by infiltrating the Midwest, one person at a time. The ways things are here, right now, how bad a thing could that be? I’d take the Queen over Bush any damn day, personally.

Her blog is: http://www.hilaryandross-usa.blogspot Check it out.
Bob Katzman

Imagine the evil witch from the cottage, in Hansel and Gretal, spontaniously reappearing after the story ends (in a swirling puff of back smoke, of course) in a vengeful and snarling postscript declaring that,

“The two little brats were impossible, ill-mannered, loud and nasty children and were so rude to me, that I simply had no recourse…but to eat them.”

I am so fortunate to have people who have meant a great deal to me be willing to take the time to add their thoughts to my painful story.

I suppose either or both Mary Munden or Gela Altman could have dismissed my confessional story as much ado from a very neurotic guy, but being who both of them are, meaning angelic and caring, they didn’t do that. They couldn’t.

Some people are nice in spite of themselves, and they can’t do anything about it. Well, Mary and Gela, it’s a big mean world. May your numbers increase.

Oh,and also, God bless both of you.

love,
Bob Katzman

I have to admit that when you started therapy back in 1999 I was worried that you were a little too unusual for me to figure out. If I couldn’t figure you out, then I was at a disadvantage in determining a course of treatment. As it happened, you were self-motivated. You had sought out treatment because you were ready, and even though you dominated our conversations and I considered my own contribution minor, you followed up with medication eagerly and willingly. Your progress was determined by what YOU did in therapy. I may have been the catalyst with a nice voice that helped you along, but it was you who determined and carried out your own treatment much as you do when you write, with precision and certainty.

I congratulate you, Bob, for emerging as a wonderful writer in a short period of time. Your success is in the horizon, far more visible with each passing day.

Gela Altman

Depressed people are the “Invisible Walking-Wounded” (my term) because no one can see their pain or have any clue about the misery they live with. That may account for the suicides, in a way, because on the outside perhaps you look just fine. But inside, nobody’s home and the loneliness can be unbearable.
Thanks, Jyll.

Bob Katzman

(Note: Jyll Phillips is a talented writer I first met in Lincoln, Kansas (pop. 1,300) last May. She is a lovely person, and if she is in fact depressed, it was invisible to me. Perhaps when two depresed people meet, and talk, and just get along, as we both did, the illness is sort of neutralized. Just a fanciful thought.)

You did a wonderful job of describing some of the aspects of depression. For me, it was a very gradual awareness, mostly shoved to the back of my heart by the chaotic life I led and the three children I was trying to raise. The emptiness you describe is very real. I remember thinking I must be totally insane to be so unhappy. The fact that you continued to function says good things about your tenacity and your drive. I could function… but things people didn’t know weren’t happening; things like paying bills, answering mail, or returning phone calls. I know that I went back and forth from feeling like every little thing was a major event or decision to playing Scarlet O’Hara - I’ll think about that tomorrow.

Depression is a scary thing. It affects not only your mental health and stability, but it can manifest physical ailments as well. It impairs a person’s sense of logic and adversely affects judgement. It seriously inteferes with the ability to laugh at ourselves, and that, in my opinion, is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves as long as it doesn’t become self-defeating. Without medication I would be in lock up by now…

The unfortunate thing about people who suffer from mental disorders due to imbalance of chemicals - or enzymes - is that the medication works so well, after awhile they tend to think they are cured. That thought in mind, they “forget” to take their meds, and eventually, don’t take them on purpose. They are in trouble again before they realize that they really aren’t cured, and it was the medicine making them feel so normal. I’ve known several people who have made this mistake, and admittedly I have attempted to wean myself from the meds on more than one occassion. People who rely on insulin to balance their sugar levels, don’t stop taking it, nor do those who use a tablet to stabilize their heartbeat, so why those with conditions of the brain think they can stop using their meds is a very curious thing.

The story of you sitting in the restaurant claiming only depressed people could sit at your table made me chuckle. As you know, I am also ADHD, and we decided long ago that we could hire no one in our store who wasn’t ADHD. We do a fabulous job of multi-tasking and getting things done - as long as we all take our meds!

Write on!

Jyll

You wrote an excellent story about your personal battle with Depression. I too have had my bouts with that disease in the past.

As you may know from my web site and our personal discussions, I believe one of the reasons that some people suffer more greatly from that disease is because in our western culture, we are raised to keep our problems to ourselves. It is that very upbringing that makes it harder for us suffering Depression, to admit something is wrong with us to others and that we need help.

Depression is an insidious disease, it comes on slowly and robs us of our will to resist its effects. In a long enough duration without the intervention of help, the disease can cause permanent harm, perhaps even death itself.

With your words, you have helped spread the message of a better life after recognizing Depression and getting the help you needed. I am glad you did. I am glad that St. Mary was there for you in the moment you needed someone.

I applaud your life and the victories over your battles. Being victorious over Depression is a wonderful achievement. Thank you for your courage and words.

I will see you in-person soon, my friend.

Sincerely,

Don

If my story helps even a tiny bit to wipe out that terrible misunderstanding, then maybe others will benefit from my experience and get the help they need.

You may think my comments about you were humorous, since you know me so long and so well, but there was no humor at all in what I said about you. That’s how I feel about what your voice meant to me that awful day, and I always will feel that way.

People don’t get celebrated enough for the everyday good things that they do. Today, on the 4th of July, America’s 232nd birthday, was your turn.

Thanks again, Mary.

love,
Bob